he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
