Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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