Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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