A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think im going to throw up on grandma
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
