Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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