Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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