I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
