you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
