eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
