I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
