Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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