i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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