dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
