So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
