Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have aggressive nipples.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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