i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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