Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
