Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
