i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
