that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
