2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
