yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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