You're my little dorito
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
