She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
