If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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