O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
