pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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