i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
