it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
