i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
