Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
