It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize