i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
