I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
