I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize