i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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