but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
