isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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