my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
