im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
