i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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