I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
