Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
