Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
