I wish I could punch you in the face.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
