If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
