Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
