Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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