office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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