but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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