i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
