Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
