Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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