talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
