The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
