we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
