Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize