I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize