I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
