I can text with my tongue
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
