How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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