I'm jealous of your bromance
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
