Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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