I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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