i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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